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A Kilo of String

$0.99

"Fabulously funny - a real must for lovers of all things Greek."

After living in Greece for thirteen years, writer and reluctant olive farmer Rob Johnson has got used to most of the things that he and his partner Penny found so bizarre at the beginning. Most, but not all.

A Kilo of String is the story-so-far of this not-particularly-plucky couple's often bewildering experiences among the descendants of Sophocles, Plato and Nana Mouskouri with occasional digressions into total irrelevances.

This is a book which is almost guaranteed not to change your life, but what itwill do is answer many of the fundamental questions about life in Greece, such as:

How do you avoid ordering a double tomato for your pine marten when booking a hotel room? Should olive harvesting be registered with the Dangerous Sports Association? Why are chicken livers useful (other than to the chickens themselves)?

Oh yes, and there are some serious bits too about how life in Greece has changed since the beginning of the economic crisis.

"A brilliant book, very funny and a great insight into Greece and its people."

"Left me laughing so hard I would have spat out my dentures, if I wore them."

A Kilo of String is loosely based on Rob Johnson's podcast series of the same name, which is free to listen to and download at https://rob-johnson.org.uk/podcasts/a-kilo-of-string/.

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Rob Johnson

‘You’ll have to write an author biography of course.’

‘Oh? Why?’

‘Because people will want to know something about you before they lash out on buying one of your books.’

‘You think so, do you?’

‘Just do it, okay?’

‘So what do I tell them?’

‘For a start, you should mention that you’ve written four plays that were professionally produced and toured throughout the UK.’

‘Should I say anything about all the temp jobs I had, like working in the towels and linens stockroom at Debenhams or as a fitter’s mate in a perfume factory?’

‘No, definitely not.’

‘Motorcycle dispatch rider?’

‘You were sacked weren’t you?’

‘Boss said he could get a truck there quicker.’

‘Leave it out then, but make sure they know that A Kilo of String is the fourth book you’ve written.’

‘It’s very different from the other three. They’re all novels for a start.’

‘Doesn’t matter. And don’t forget to put in something that shows you’re vaguely human.’

‘You mean this kind of thing: “I’m currently in Greece with my wife, Penny, two cats and five rescue dogs and working on a fourth novel and a couple of screenplays”.’

‘It’ll have to do, I suppose, and then finish off with your website and social media stuff.’

‘Oh, okay then.’

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