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Quest for the Holey Snail

£0.99

WANTED: Gainful employment of an adventurous nature but without risk of personal physical harm. (Can supply own time travel machine if required.)

When Horace Tweed places an advertisement in a national magazine, the last thing he expects is to be commissioned to travel back through time in search of the long extinct Holey* Snail.

But this isn't just any old snail. Thehelix pertusa is possessed of an extraordinary and highly desirable property, and Horace's quest leads him and his co-adventurers to Ancient Greece and a variety of near-death encounters with beings both mythological and not so mythological.

Meanwhile, Detective Chief Inspector Harper Collins has her hands full trying to track down a secret order of fundamentalist monks whom she suspects of committing a series of murders - the same monks who are determined to thwart Horace in his...

...Quest for the Holey Snail.

"Not just another book about serial-killing monks who travel through time and wear Union Jack flip-flops." -Unusual Footwear Monthly

(* This isn't a spelling mistake. The Holey Snail is so called because there are hundreds of tiny holes all over its shell.)

PLEASE NOTE:Quest for the Holey Snail is not part of Rob Johnson'sLifting the Lid series.

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Rob Johnson

‘You’ll have to write an author biography of course.’

‘Oh? Why?’

‘Because people will want to know something about you before they lash out on buying one of your books.’

‘You think so, do you?’

‘Just do it, okay?’

‘So what do I tell them?’

‘For a start, you should mention that you’ve written four plays that were professionally produced and toured throughout the UK.’

‘Should I say anything about all the temp jobs I had, like working in the towels and linens stockroom at Debenhams or as a fitter’s mate in a perfume factory?’

‘No, definitely not.’

‘Motorcycle dispatch rider?’

‘You were sacked weren’t you?’

‘Boss said he could get a truck there quicker.’

‘Leave it out then, but make sure they know that A Kilo of String is the fourth book you’ve written.’

‘It’s very different from the other three. They’re all novels for a start.’

‘Doesn’t matter. And don’t forget to put in something that shows you’re vaguely human.’

‘You mean this kind of thing: “I’m currently in Greece with my wife, Penny, two cats and five rescue dogs and working on a fourth novel and a couple of screenplays”.’

‘It’ll have to do, I suppose, and then finish off with your website and social media stuff.’

‘Oh, okay then.’

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