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Rob Johnson

Rob Johnson

Biography

‘You’ll have to write an author biography of course.’

‘Oh? Why?’

‘Because people will want to know something about you before they lash out on buying one of your books.’

‘You think so, do you?’

‘Just do it, okay?’

‘So what do I tell them?’

‘For a start, you should mention that you’ve written four plays that were professionally produced and toured throughout the UK.’

‘Should I say anything about all the temp jobs I had, like working in the towels and linens stockroom at Debenhams or as a fitter’s mate in a perfume factory?’

‘No, definitely not.’

‘Motorcycle dispatch rider?’

‘You were sacked weren’t you?’

‘Boss said he could get a truck there quicker.’

‘Leave it out then, but make sure they know that A Kilo of String is the fourth book you’ve written.’

‘It’s very different from the other three. They’re all novels for a start.’

‘Doesn’t matter. And don’t forget to put in something that shows you’re vaguely human.’

‘You mean this kind of thing: “I’m currently in Greece with my wife, Penny, two cats and five rescue dogs and working on a fourth novel and a couple of screenplays”.’

‘It’ll have to do, I suppose, and then finish off with your website and social media stuff.’

‘Oh, okay then.’

Books

A Kilo of String

Rob Johnson

$0.99

"Fabulously funny - a real must for lovers of all things Greek."
After living in Greece for thirteen years, writer and reluctant olive farmer Rob Johnson has got used to most of the things that he and his partner Penny found so bizarre at the beginning. Most, but not all.

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Quest for the Holey Snail

Rob Johnson

£0.99

WANTED: Gainful employment of an adventurous nature but without risk of personal physical harm. (Can supply own time travel machine if required.)
When Horace Tweed places an advertisement in a national magazine, the last thing he expects is to be commissioned to travel back through time in search of the long extinct Holey* Snail.

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Lifting the Lid - A comedy thriller

Rob Johnson

$2.99

When Trevor Hawkins hits the open road in his beat-up old camper van with his incorrigible dog, Milly, his quest for adventure soon spirals dangerously out of control. The simple act of flushing a hotel toilet transforms his life from redundant sales assistant to fugitive from a gang of psychopathic villains, the police and MI5.

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Heads You Lose (Lifting the Lid Book 2)

Rob Johnson

$2.99

The assignment in Greece might have been the answer to Trevor and Sandra's problems except for one thing. Someone was trying to frame them for murder... with a watermelon.
'Money for old rope,' Sandra had said when they accepted the job of looking after the ageing Marcus Ingleby at his villa in Greece, but when a neighbour brings a gift for the old man, the prospect of spending most of the rest of their lives in a Greek prison becomes a terrifying reality.

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